i hate it when i get in these romantic moods and cant really do anything about it. i cant even express the trails my mind takes adequately or elloquently enough. but i'll give it a try.

i've lived in cincinnati my entire life. its my home. dont get me wrong, i love it here, but i need to not be here. i'm not one to care what other people think about me. life's too short to try to please everyone, but then, on the other hand, im tired of negative energy. for once i'd like to look at everyone around me and not wonder who said what awful thing about me behind my back. i went to college my last two years of highschool to get away from the dumb shit that goes on there. i dont understand how so many people who are much more grown than myself can act like such children.

i want to go camping in the southern country. i want to take a walk barefoot in the hazy dusk of a summer day. to breathe in the air thats contaminated with bird song and the smell of fresh cut grass. i want to ride a my bike into town wearing a knee length skirt, my shoulders bare to the heat of the sun, and pick up lunch at the local everything market and carry it back to the creek bank in my basket. we'll sit on a red and white checkered blanket and dip our toes in the cool water and i'll throw my head back in laughter at the story you whispered in my ear. we fall asleep together to the lull of insects in the trees and spend hours looking at the clouds. its perfect. its not going to happen.

instead i'm in walnut hills, watching east bound and down after dealing with four screaming kids all evening. my head is full of snot. my back is bruised from being shoved against all manner of things, well i guess that part is alright, it makes me smile. i'm tired and not nearly drunk enough for 11:35 on a friday night. i'll say hello to the capitan for you.