i make terrible decisions

i really do.

but i'm tired of being second choice.

i think i knew it all along but just needed a little confirmation of my complete stupidity.

i'm worth being someone's first choice.

i'm tired of fucking around.

18?

its been a rather mundane day so far.
studying a lot.
downloading more music than i know what to do with.
its empowered female artist day for me today.

Lil' Kim
M.I.A.
Amy Winehouse

its good to hear some of this stuff.



counting down the weeks till chicago.
i hope i'm not making a mistake by going.



mid packing. i need to clean. and sand. and paint.
fuck i have no time.

17

to do:
bank some cash money (set up direct deposit so i dont have to think about it)
sand walls at apartment
stop driving my new car like a pussy (its manual... i suck)
make playlists for roadtrip in march
pack my room up (i move in 2 and a half weeks)
find someone who wants to buy my totaled car for parts?!
take billions of pictures of everything
sleeeeeeeep
watch the rest of twin peaks
finish my kafka book

not to do:
give a fuck about anything

competency

I have a lot resting on today.
I know for a fact that i've worked myself up to the point where i'm slightly hysterical.
Inside anyway.
I think i'm pretty good at masking how i'm feeling sometimes.
I suppose thats not necessarily a good thing all the time.
I dont play poker so really, i'm not sure what good it is at all.

I am stressed.
But by 2:45 hopefully it'll all be over and i can sigh relief and move on.
Fuck some school.

fuck

so today started out just fine
then i wrecked my car
then mitch wrecked his car
and julia wrecked her car
and big mike got blown off the road in his car
and my dear friend lynn lost her father.

what the hell?

biking to work tomorrow.
i open.
its going to be invigorating.

i lied.
i'm definitely not defeated at all.
i'm so so not defeated.

i'm on fire baby.
take it take it like you know that you want to.


my name is micah
and i'm totally fine.
life is fantastic.
my friends are fantastic.
my apartment plumbing got fixed today.
i have heat.
and a job.
and i'm irresistable.

planning to go to chicago for st. ratrick's day.
virgin chicago experience.
asking off of work tomorrow.

grrrr. i feel great.

i quit.
seriously.



defeated.

alright

listening to iron and wine.
had a great, completely messily drunk night last night at the bikehaus.
(when is it not a great, completely messily drunk night at the bikehaus though?)
keith somehow got a fire extinguisher and made fog, it tasted like shit.
it was funny.
i laughed probably more than i have in a long time.
i just hope i didnt make a bad decision last night.
it seems to be alright, but then, i cant quite tell yet.
sometimes i over think things.
i just dont like being fucked with.

i bought a fisheye camera from urban outfitters today.
i cant wait for it to come (yay for online sale exclusives), and to put film in it
and to catalog great times with great people.
i also bought a nifty DIY everything you need to know about sewing book from amazon.
saweet.
i want to alter shit and save money
because i'm poor and i need to buy adult things
like hangers and a couch.

frank's (i dont know frank) birthday at the madhatter

March 1st

well it looks like its finally going to happen. i'm moving. i really wish that it could be something that my entire family could be happy about, but i know that my mom feels like i've slighted her because i no longer wish to reside under the same roof as she does. she'll forgive me. i'll be living in o'bryanville with my dearest sister laurie. work on my apartment located over the garage in her back yard will begin saturday afternoon with some hefty spackling (yes thats a word. its filling in holes with plaster and sanding them smooth before you prime and paint. i'm a rehabbing geek and this old house with norm was my favorite tv show growing up. we were going to get married.) i need to buy some stuff too. geeze. i need to work more. anyway, its going to be a great great time, i'm super excited about life right now. and it does not make me a pussy to live in my sisters garage. im just saying. i'll post photos of my little house after we work on it. you'll get sick of looking at it. no one follows my blog so i guess its really more for a nostalgic purpose that i even write on here.

tonight is someones birthday at the madhatter. the read's playing and its going to be awesome, as it always it. i think instead of getting drunk i'm going to photograph their set tonight. i have class at 9 am tomorrow morning so a hangover is the last thing that i need. trying to trade shifts saturday night so i can go to pdcopes show at the contemporary arts center and then to bikehaus and see the read again playing with catepillar tracks, digital kate and mo. its always a good time at the bikehaus. i'll be taking lots of photos, whether i take the digital or spring and buy some disposables and follow the pdcopes pathway. its going to be great.