work was awful tonight. too many servers, too few guests, too much drama. needless to say, i didnt make the money i wanted to make, or needed to make, this evening due to the boundless negative factors of tonight. so now here i am, sitting in front of my computer with fausto on my lap and his face hiding securely in my deep v neck shirt (he doesnt like the light in his precious little eyes when he's trying to sleep.) i should be studying calculus, that dreaded math to which i was actually looking forward to taking at the beginning of this autumn quarter. its funny how an awful professor can change all expectations and ruin something that one very well may have loved intensely. now, suppose if i had gotten a wonderful professor, one who knew how to explain concepts and theories, and explain them all in english; i quite possibly could have loved calculus so much that i went on to make it my life passion and found a mathematical cure for world hunger or something of the sort? just suppose...

anyway, looks like nick's dodged the bullet at work so far, but with the uncertainness that comes with working for the Wade's, i'm not sure this victory is long lasted. sometimes i wish i could just show people how stupid they are. but then again, someone out there is probably saying the same thing about me. i dont think of myself as being the smartest, highest evolved person living on this earth; that would adequately make me one of the more stupid individuals that walk this earth. however, i do think that sometimes i havent been polluted with some of the life experiences with which others have been polluted; say never having known what it is to actually work for instance, having too much money and too much time. the Wade's treat people like chess pieces. who will make them the most money? who will entertain them the best? who will be willing to completely sell themselves out simply because the Wade's asked them to? its a silly game of cat and mouse and because the Wades have money and the employment opportunities, people will do desperate things to make them happy, even if that means self degradation.

okay, my rant against current circumstances needs to end, i need to teach myself calculus and get my dog off my lap and drink a modello, the last flavor of summer.